Thursday, October 14, 2010

Cheating Husbands and Wives in Oakland County Michigan Divorces

If my husband or wife has “cheated” on me, or has otherwise been unfaithful, will it make a difference in my divorce is a question that many people have when they find out about an affair. The answer, in Oakland County Michigan Family Law Courts or Divorce Courts, is yes and no.


I recently have answered many questions that start with “my wife (or husband) met someone on FaceBook and …” In Michigan, we have no fault divorce, so one does not need to state a reason to get a divorce. The real question seems to be whether one will have an advantage for property settlement, alimony (spousal support) or child custody.

Regarding child custody, it does not seem to make a difference whether one party has been unfaithful during the marriage, unless the new partner has some criminal history or is otherwise dangerous to the children. This is true even though moral fitness of the parents is a factor that the courts must take into account when determining custody.

Regarding property settlement, the court may take into account whether one party has been adulterous. However, most judges do not really want to hear these type of details and the party accusing the other of having an affair, must be very careful not to overemphasis this in court. The judges often take a “chicken or the egg” type approach and assume that both parties have wronged one another at some point during the marriage and that there are many reasons the parties are getting divorce.

Regarding alimony (spousal support), the court may take into account whether one party has had an affair during the marriage. Again, as with property settlement, one must be careful not to get caught up in attempting to punish the other party for this during the divorce. It is one factor that taken together with other factors may make a significant difference, such as the length of the marriage, the parties’ relative incomes and the egregiousness or repetition of the activity. However, judges will generally not attempt to punish one party for this type of activity.

In addition, Judges are very skeptical (as should be most people) of anyone that tries to paint themselves as a complete victim and one’s attorney must be very careful when presenting evidence to avoid this perception. The answer to whether a cheating husband or wife will allow one to get a better settlement then is technically yes, but in reality there are many other factors that courts in Oakland County Michigan consider far more important in a divorce case.