I practice in the area of family law or divorce in Oakland County, Michigan. My experience leads me to believe that power and control issues are the biggest cause of divorce. There are several reasons to avoid carrying these issues forward into a divorce proceeding.
Huge attorney fees can result from power and control issues in divorce cases.
When a divorcing couple cannot resolve parenting time and custody issues, the result, among other things, is astronomical attorney fees. Unfortunately these important issues often become another opportunity for a power and control struggle between two adults that can't talk to one another. Too often one divorced parent will make a decision regarding the child and take action on that decision without discussing it with the other parent. This appears to be what happened in the case of the Pierron family.
In the post-divorce case, Pierron v. Pierron, decided by the Michigan Supreme Court in 2010, a divorced couple could not come to an agreement on which school their child should attend, which appears to be the result of unresolved power and control issues between this divorced couple.
One should undestand that in Michigan where parents share joint legal custody, they share joint decision making powers regarding important life issues that affect their children. The courts usually grant joint legal custody. Case law indicates hat where a child attends school is one of these issues that the parents must decide together when they share joint legal custody. If they cannot, the courts will decide for them and this is what happened in the Pierron case.
This issue of which school the child should attend in the Pierron case led to a protracted legal battle which led all the way to the Michigan Supreme Court. After the court made its decision, the mother of the child filed a motion to have the father pay for her attorney fees. In Michigan, a court may order one parent to pay for the other parent’s attorney fees in a divorce (or post-divorce case) where the court finds that the parent requesting payment does not have sufficient assets to pay for the attorney fees and the other parent does have sufficient assets.
In this case, the mother apparently incurred a whopping bill of $136,449.12 in attorney fees in a struggle over which school the child should attend. The court ordered the father to pay for $64,599.12 of her attorney fees. This means he had to pay her attorney this money in addition to whatever amount he incurred in his own attorney fees, ouch!
This is a whole lot of money to pay over a dispute about which school their child should attend. It would seem that they both would have saved a lot of time, money and emotional stress if they could have rationally and reasonably discussed this issue and come to a decision between the two of them without the court intervention.
Neither party comes out ahead when the mother still has to pay for close to $72,000 in attorney fees and the father has to pay $64,599.12 of her attorney fees in addition to his own. Further, this was a post-divorce case and does not even address the amount of fees they incurred in the original divorce. This is all money that they could have kept for themselves or spent on their child’s college education if they were so concerned about the child’s education and welfare.
The conclusion is that allowing power and control issues to motivate and control a divorce proceeding is a big mistake. Resolving all matters in a reasonably amicable divorce without egos and emotions is the best way to go, particularly when there are children involved. If one does not, then this can result in repeated court struggles throughout the life of one's children. This is not only damaging to the children but it can result in astronomical attorney fees as well. One must be careful in choosing a divorce lawyer, a family law attorney that does not understand the cost of litigation and the value of an amicable divorce can cause a lifetime of problems.
Huge attorney fees can result from power and control issues in divorce cases.
When a divorcing couple cannot resolve parenting time and custody issues, the result, among other things, is astronomical attorney fees. Unfortunately these important issues often become another opportunity for a power and control struggle between two adults that can't talk to one another. Too often one divorced parent will make a decision regarding the child and take action on that decision without discussing it with the other parent. This appears to be what happened in the case of the Pierron family.
In the post-divorce case, Pierron v. Pierron, decided by the Michigan Supreme Court in 2010, a divorced couple could not come to an agreement on which school their child should attend, which appears to be the result of unresolved power and control issues between this divorced couple.
One should undestand that in Michigan where parents share joint legal custody, they share joint decision making powers regarding important life issues that affect their children. The courts usually grant joint legal custody. Case law indicates hat where a child attends school is one of these issues that the parents must decide together when they share joint legal custody. If they cannot, the courts will decide for them and this is what happened in the Pierron case.
This issue of which school the child should attend in the Pierron case led to a protracted legal battle which led all the way to the Michigan Supreme Court. After the court made its decision, the mother of the child filed a motion to have the father pay for her attorney fees. In Michigan, a court may order one parent to pay for the other parent’s attorney fees in a divorce (or post-divorce case) where the court finds that the parent requesting payment does not have sufficient assets to pay for the attorney fees and the other parent does have sufficient assets.
In this case, the mother apparently incurred a whopping bill of $136,449.12 in attorney fees in a struggle over which school the child should attend. The court ordered the father to pay for $64,599.12 of her attorney fees. This means he had to pay her attorney this money in addition to whatever amount he incurred in his own attorney fees, ouch!
This is a whole lot of money to pay over a dispute about which school their child should attend. It would seem that they both would have saved a lot of time, money and emotional stress if they could have rationally and reasonably discussed this issue and come to a decision between the two of them without the court intervention.
Neither party comes out ahead when the mother still has to pay for close to $72,000 in attorney fees and the father has to pay $64,599.12 of her attorney fees in addition to his own. Further, this was a post-divorce case and does not even address the amount of fees they incurred in the original divorce. This is all money that they could have kept for themselves or spent on their child’s college education if they were so concerned about the child’s education and welfare.
The conclusion is that allowing power and control issues to motivate and control a divorce proceeding is a big mistake. Resolving all matters in a reasonably amicable divorce without egos and emotions is the best way to go, particularly when there are children involved. If one does not, then this can result in repeated court struggles throughout the life of one's children. This is not only damaging to the children but it can result in astronomical attorney fees as well. One must be careful in choosing a divorce lawyer, a family law attorney that does not understand the cost of litigation and the value of an amicable divorce can cause a lifetime of problems.
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